


Countdown to Destiny

by ngm



Category: SuperMansion (Cartoon)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, admission of feelings, coming to terms with mortality, dire circumstances, house is exploding trope, slow burn culmination, slow burn to fucking, we are gonna die trope, we better do this trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11176266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: Based off of the trope from 'Ali G in da House' and this video -- where two buddies find themselves faced with sudden impending death and decide to finally fuck it out, in lieu of dying without admitting their feelings.YES. THAT IS MARTIN FREEMAN.https://youtu.be/yCKxZ81oDGQFor @gayforbatjokes, my bizarro museAnd I'll pat myself on the back for the worst title I've come up with to date.





	Countdown to Destiny

 

 

 

 

"We shouldn't be in here..." The clown murmured, glancing around then stepping back against Black Saturn, his be-vested shoulders hunched in anxiety. 

There were sirens going off, alarms blaring, some hideously loud countdown-- it was deja-vu of the time the mansion exploded a while back and both the Groaner and Saturn found themselves once again, faced with their mortality being on a timer. 

A 4000-second countdown actually and  _SURE_ , it was great to have the 'extra time', but it didn't account for much when the room they'd accidentally found themselves locked in was inescapable, closed down, iron doors slamming over the windows, doors barred shut, lights dimmed as a siren continued to scream. 

Groaner felt his taller counterpart grasp his arm from behind and they whirled to face one another, holding onto the other's forearms as they tried not to bask in the similarities once again.

"I... I don't think we are getting outta here..."  Black Saturn breathed out, voice breaking with the panic that came with realizing that your life was in true mortal danger.

"Yeah, no, I'm not gonna fight you on that one, big guy, is... is this it?" 

Both men were too panicked to realize that 4000 seconds (and counting, or well, more like, 3756 seconds) was just under an hour-- and that for what it was worth, there was a fair to decent chance that the alarm that Saturn had tripped while sneaking around Rex's office would be remedied. 

But at the moment, there was only full dread, full blown, 'this is the end' panic. 

"Uhh, what the **HELL** are we gonna do, man? This is like-- _uhh_..." Breath coming a little too quickly for the circumstances, the clown inadvertently moved a fraction closer and felt his nemesis' hands move to his waist, the two men openly clutching one another. 

"I... I dunno, we should at least try the doors again, windows, anything--!! I don't wanna die! I mean, if I have to die with _you_ then... then that's at least better." The panicked hero breathed as they split apart and Saturn pulled out two of his electric rings, holding them both up on the offensive. "Gotta try." 

And there was no warning before the thick-headed superhero threw both rings and his nemesis hit the floor, arms folded over his head.

" _SHIT MAN NOT TRYING TO DIE LIKE THAT, WHAT THE HELL!?!??!!?!?!?!_ " 

The man in black and purple dropped to the floor, also cowering as his somewhat ineffective weapons ricocheted around the room. 

"I'm sorry, I panicked!!!" Saturn barked in response, unfurling his cape and covering the clown with his canopy of purple. It was hard to tell when the rings finally stopped with all of the hysteria of the room, neither man ready to find out and after a few more tension-inducing minutes ticked on the two found themselves holding onto the other on the floor, emulating their hug from the last time the mansion was deteriorating but horizontally. 

"Is this it? Is this how we die?! No big fight?!! No climax?!"

CJ made a noise at that word, hands sliding from his cape to brace on the floor on either side of the clown's head. 

"No, there should definitely be a climax..." The taller man breathed out, staring down at the other man and bit his bottom lip. They weren't supposed to die like this, they were supposed to fall in love, they were supposed to be a family together, grow old and fat and ugly and beautiful together. 

"Just said like, climax like, uhh... three times here, guy..." Groaner murmured, clearing his throat as he reached up to grasp at Saturn's biceps, then shoulders, hands moving to his back of his neck. 

"Yeah, uh... I did. If this is it then, _y'know_..."

"Are you serious dude?"

" _Dead_ serious."

"Oh, ha **_HA_**..." The clown panted out, turning his head to the side while still keeping his gaze on the other man. " _I'm_ supposed to be the funny one."

"But... You _are_..." CJ breathed softly, eyes brightening despite their impending demise. 

"...Nnh... _Jesus_ dude..." Was all the villain could reply before he pulled his nemesis closer by his cowl, the sirens and the alarms and the countdown muted as they started frantically kissing, too ready to get at the other's mouth, wrap their arms around their counterpart, holding on for these last dear moments. 

Saturn wasn't ready to pull apart when they did, gasping in a breath and following the clown's mouth as he pressed him to the floor. This felt so right, oh, if they were going to die, let them die wrapped in each other's arms. 

"We--" The Groaner managed to hold his nemesis now impromptu death-mate back long enough to meet his flushed gaze and another whined sort of noise left him. What a fucking handsome jerk. "If this is it then we gotta." 

"Huh?" The room was suddenly loud to him again, too warm, too distracting with the flashing lights and the daunting countdown. 

"We _**GOTTA**_." The clown clarified his voice somehow rising above the noise and he pushed his hips up, pulling Saturn's head back down to his, taking another kiss. Hell, if these were their last moments. "We gotta fuck, like, right _now_ dude." 

CJ whimpered out a strained noise at that, nodding against the other man's mouth before he stood and helped the clown up, tearing at his cape, flinging off his fanny pack, anything that was in the way could go. It was a race against time to see who was going to bare themselves first, Saturn throwing his shirt, pulling his pants off-- over his boots somehow, who knew how the hell really-- and found himself stunned into non-movement as his nemesis only bothered with removing his vest and tie and belt, already palming his dick. 

"Let's do this, man, you gotta have something to make this less terrifying to--"

"I can.. I do but I can take it." Black Saturn interrupted, staring confidently back at the other. 

"Hah! You really ** _DO_** have a death wish!!!"  Groaner squealed in response but took the admission at face value. "Ya gotta hurry, man..." His voice had an edge of desperation as he pushed his archnemesis towards the desk in the middle of the room. " We're running outta time for you to prove it and if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die balls deep in you, ya got me?" 

 "Ahh, shit _yes_ I do..." CJ scrambled to find his fanny pack, holding up a small bottle of lubricant that shouldn't be in there in the first place. "Oh man, we should have done this sooner..." His voice broke as he was nudged back against the desk, staring at the man who was supposed to be his husband. "I..." He flipped open the bottle of lube and wet both ungloved hands as he stared at the clown and reached forward, grasping that picturesque cock in both palms. 

" _Holyshitt._.. we should... we should have fucked a long time ago, dude, _years_ ago.." The clown moaned out, rocking his hips into those warm hands. Neither could focus on how much time was left, on anything but this moment. 

"Years..." Came an echoed breath and Saturn leaned forward to kiss the man he'd been so darkly obsessed with while jerking him off, while adequately coating his massive dick. 

The clown nodded against his nemesis' mouth, cupping his face as he rocked his hips shallowly into the firm grasp of Black Saturn. 

"Turn around, we... I have to..." Groaner nipped the taller man's lower lip, indulging in biting that oft-too worried skin and tugged until he felt CJ's hands obediently lift from his dick and watched him turn around and lean forward a little. An instant view of a perfect ass and the clown moaned out an almost remorseful sound, shaking his head. " ** _YEARS DUDE!_ ** You said you can take this?" 

"Been...uhh...Yeah, trust me..." His back tensed as Black Saturn lurched a little more forward, planting his greasy lubed hands carelessly on the desk as he spread his legs a little wider. 

"I trust you..." Was all the redhead could wheeze out, watching that gorgeous man spread for him. "Just know that if the circumstances were at all different, I'd still want to fuck your brains out, just know that in confidence." The Groaner murmured, staring at the other in complete awe. 

"Really?" CJ asked, glancing over his shoulder at the man he was about to be intimate with before their mortal doom, "Do you mean that?"

"Ohhhhh.... Sats, you're so stupid sometimes, _yes_ sweetie..." Groaner hissed, two peripherally lubed fingers pawing at the taller man's asshole pre-emptively before he pressed the head of his dick against the too-hot ring of muscle. "Only you..." Came a sigh as he moved his hands to the other man's waist, hesitating to ease him back. 

"Oh fffff....uhhhh.."

"We're... we're gonna, **God** , _impatient.._ " Came the next rumble from the clown as he struggled not slamming forward and was pleased to watch as his partner pushed back, head dropping to the desk as he tried to spread himself out on his nemesis' massive dick.

Kind of ironic as the countdown boomed in the 2000's, 2044, 2043, 2042-- The monotony of it was almost musical at this point, combined with the sirens and the high pitched ' _bipi'_ noise still going off.  

"Fuck, man...!" The breath was sucked from the clown as he watched his adversary inch himself back, taking a good third of prick before pausing but it was too late for the Groaner, a helpless sound breaking from deep in his chest as he shoved the rest of the way forward--- Saturn was too hot, he was too tight and it was too tempting to embed himself in his sudden lover. 

" _FUCK!!!"_ Was right and it was the shrill shriek that erupted past CJ's lips, bowing against Titanium Rex's desk as if he was trying to get away from the intrusion but could only sandwich himself against the mahogany. 

"As you wishhhh..." Groaner hissed out, fingers pressing into the meat of Black Saturn's hips as he snapped his hips back and thrust forward, sliding him against the papers and etcetera of the surface. 

"Oh _Godddd_..." CJ's voice broke, folding an arm under his head to keep it from thumping into the desk as he was spread and fucked-- at some point tears had come to his eyes, surely before the other man had fully entered him but he didn't care-- There was no shame in this. "I've wanted... hhn... this so baddd!!!" Came a sudden wail, the vigilante's thighs tensing as he began to snap back and meet those thrusts mid-way. "So bad..." 

"Sats... you and me both, buddy... Years..." The Groaner sighed out again, giving into the urge to reach forward and wrap his hands around the rings of Black Saturn's cowl. 

"OH **GOD**!!" His back was arched for him, head lifted from his arm and CJ braced his hands back on the desk, curled back as he was pounded into by his pale, skinny foe. 

"Oh fuck _yessss_ Saturnnn..." The sounds of the sirens blaring had stopped, though neither had noticed or cared to, caught up in their moment of finality, of intimacy. If they were gonna die, trapped in a panic room-graded lock down with an impending explosion, then why not go out with their own kinda bang. 

"I don't wanna dieeee..." CJ wailed, meeting those thrusts back like a champ, tears streaming down his face as he was savaged. "B-but at...hhh.. at least it's with youuuu..." Came his next whimper and the Groaner faltered for a moment with his thrusting, mouth falling open as he pulled the taller man fully back on his cock. 

" _Iloveyoudude!_ " The clown gasped out, the words bursting past his mouth as if he didn't mean to say them and he felt the man beneath him un-tense for a moment. Everything went quiet and peaceful for a second. "I...I should have said it sooner..." He wheezed. 

"..I love you _too_!" The vigilante bawled back, pushing back harder, slumping down on one shoulder as he tried to reach back towards his nemesis. 

"OhGod we're both so stupid..." The Groaner started to sob, reaching forward to grab his nemesis' hand awkwardly and was pulled bodily closer, chest to Saturn's back as they fucked; moving shallowly but not pulling out but a fraction, 

"We _areee_..." CJ panted out, sniffling as he spread his legs wider, flattened onto the desk. 

"I wanted to go to Bed Bath and Beyond with _youuu_..." Came the next whimpered moan from the big dicked clown. 

A broken 'a-aww' escaped the taller man's mouth and it was followed by another sob, eyes squeezing shut as he tried to relish in the feeling of being loved and full for the last few moments of his pathetic life. 

Neither noticed the panic lights winding down, neither heard the door to Rex's office being kicked in by the very Subtopian himself.

 " _ **WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!**_ " Came his roar, as Cooch, Ranger, and Robobot peeked their heads into the dim, fuck-musted room. 

NOW, both men noticed, heads whipping up at their sudden audience and the clown shoved quite obviously forward, earning a loud gasp in response from Saturn-- all the while making eye contact with Rex.

" **UHHH** - _hhhhh_..."

"Two minutes my guy. Give us... _uhhh... two_ minutes..." The Groaner hissed out, uncurling his other hand from Saturn's ring and holding up his 'v' of fingers. 

"Holy shit dudes, they fuckin'!!!" Cooch shouted to no one in particular. "Shit, I gotta get that $20 from Agony now, daaaamn!" 

" **OH MY STARS AND GARTERS WHAT ON CHRIST'S HOLY GREEN EARTH AM I LOOKING AT?!!?!?** " 

"Uhh, it would be prudent for us to maybe allow them the necessary-- Let's just go, okay guys? I'm a fucking robot and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to unprocess this and delete it from my memory banks. Let's GO. We can check the surveillance to see as to why the home defense system had been triggered... " The billion-dollar robot trailed off, hating every fiber of it's existence in this moment. 

"We're gonna have to bomb the whole goddamn house anyway, THEY'RE RUINING MY SANCTUARY--" Rex was pulled away from the room, still frothing with rage " _ **YOU'RE DESTROYING SUBTOPIAN HISTORY WITH YOUR DICKS!!!!**_ " He screamed over his shoulder as the doors were slammed shut.

"S'not the only thing my dick's destroying..." The Groaner murmured into the other man's cowled ear, shuddering as he pulled almost all the way out. "Should I stop?"

"NO ARE YOU CRAZY?!!?!"  

"We're not gonna die..."

"Hhh... Rex is gonna kills us." CJ reminded as he squeezed the hand in his and pushed his hips up, eager for more, to come. The interaction with the rest of his team had done little to nothing to affect the quality of his erection or how bar-settingly high this first encounter was.

"Oh yeah! Ya got a point there, well, better make this worthwhile!!" The clown breathed out; their tears had mostly dried, the heart-pounding anxiety that came with being around alarms and security measures had dwindled down to simply the heart-pounding.  

The tears had mostly dried, the focus less on what they wouldn't have and more on presently, what they were in the midst of having and for these few last moments of fornication, they were mostly quiet, the sounds of their skin slapping together mingling with each man's building gasps for air. 

"I'm gonna take you to Bed Bath and Beyond after thisssss.." Groaner moaned out, hands back to Saturn's hips as he pounded faster, holding on as his counterpart rocked back into him, lube-sticky hands grasping at whatever was available on Rex's desk. 

"Yesssss!!! Ughhh... we are gonna...hh.. buy towelssss!!!" The taller man's voice broke as tears came to his eyes with the force of his exertion to climax, truly ruining the aforementioned desk with the amount of semen he'd spilled on its surface. "So many.. coupons..." CJ wheezed, barely above a whisper. 

Any retort that the clown could muster was lost as he choked on his own orgasm, not having the wherewithal to do anything more than gasp in his next breath and hold it as he unloaded into his arching nemesis. 

"Bathrobes too..." The clown finally murmured, holding himself up with his fuck-weakened arms before pulling out and away from Black Saturn. 

"Huhhh?"

"At BB and B, honey..." Groaner raised a hand and lightly slapped an already pinked ass cheek and readjusted himself back into his slacks as he watched his semen lazily leak out of his nemesis' asshole. 

"Matching ones?" CJ asked slowly, apparently needing to be coaxed out of the fuck-stupor he now found himself in. 

" _ **IT'S BEEN MORE THAN TWO GODDAMN MINUTES!!!!!**_ " Rex screamed from the other side of the door and both men jumped, a sudden spring in at least one of their steps. 

"So, the window's looking pretty good right about now..." The clown murmured, jerking his thumb towards the no-longer iron-covered window before helping Saturn quickly assemble his discarded uniform. "Can you walk babe?"

"Hah! I told you I can-- whoa!!" And naturally, the hero lost his wobbly-legged footing while trying to pull his leather pants back on over his boots. 

"I _ **'M COMING IN THERE!!**_!" 

"Heh, _SO DID I!!!_ " The Groaner called back and there was a chorus of audible ' _uggghhhs_ ' from behind the door; the clown cackling as he threw open the closest window. "We should uh, maybe get outta here for a while, huh? Until they maybe forget about this? Ehh?" 

"We can lay low at my mom's house for a while... Go shopping..." CJ murmured as he threw his cape out of the window, grinning a dazzling grin at the other man that was answered with a nod.

"Alright, let's go man!!" 

Saturn grunted an affirmative as he rolled clumsily out of the window to the 2.5 feet below and was jumped over by his clown with an 'alleyoop!' all too easily, the two man sneaking across the front lawn of the SuperMansion to make their escape. 

 


End file.
